Wildcat Publicist: Lithos of Shiva

Real Life Adventures: RAIN

There is something about rain that does things to people here in Texas. If even a TINY drop falls, all drivers on the roads turn to babbling idiots. Rants of “ZOMG APOCALYPSE” with even the slightest bit of moisture can convert even a civilized society into apes. Seriously, hitting a puddle does not warrant slamming on ones brakes and nearly causing a 12 car pileup.

Pedestrians act this way too, avoiding the water at all costs, like they are some long lost relative of the wicked witch of the west, even going so far as to use an umbrella in a light mist. I, myself, am from Seattle, land of the perpetual downpour, so this is really nothing to me. All day people have been commenting on my lack of rain gear (a “HOW I MINE FOR FISH” t-shirt and my obligatory snug blue jeans), with quips like

“Where is your umbrella, are you stupid or something?!”

or

“You’re going to catch hypothermia in this downpour!”

And my favorite,

“OHSHITRAIN!”

Seriously now. It’s MIST. Sure, there may be the occasional thunderclap or bolt of lightning, but it’s just a little rain. Not the goddamn end of times here people. If you are one of the people who act like this I have advice for you.

STAY OFF THE FUCKING ROADS.

There I said it. Stupid people frustrate me to no end. If you are a stupid person, do us all a favor and DO NOT REPRODUCE. The world has enough stupid people already, don’t add to the population. You can live a perfectly happy existence on your own, sitting in your parent’s basement eating nachos off of your chest while shouting like a monkey into your X-Box live headset. It’s not a great existence, but hey, you’re stupid. What do I care? I do not need you on the road, impeding my progress with your shitty driving, no less endangering the other drivers around you. I may sound a little harsh, but when you have had my string of jobs, all dealing with idiots of some sort, you’d see things my way too. Oh, and living in Seattle for years helps too (we’re all smarmy asses up there).

I just can’t wait to get home to check on my Chocobo and get reading (“Good to Eat”, a required reading for my Food, though, and culture class. Anthropology ftw!).

Oh, and if you weigh over 250lbs and do NOT wear a bra or carry an umbrella in wet weather in a white shirt, I totally reserve the right to end you. *shudder*

That goes for women too.

Yutaka out.~

posted by Lithos @ 1:28 PM